Jesus and the Card Game

I am sharing this story to help you understand the particular process that occurred recently with my own healing.  It may give you an insight into the possible depth of energetic shifts that can be experienced as the healing process unfolds. Since IKH is about relationship, the depth of my own healing relates to what I can offer you.  Therefore, this story is relevant to you if you are interested in healing and want to understand how this particular healing process unfolded.

Two seemingly unrelated and difficult issues have been up for me for some time.  Although I have put considerable effort into resolving each one, frustration has been my result. 

First, I worked for 4 months with a coaching group of 4 wonderful classmates from my 3-year course of study in Integrated Kabbalistic Healing (IKH) led by a very competent, creative, and insightful coach.  Our goals were the same: to establish our practices as IKH healers.  In our time together I worked diligently, setting challenging goals for myself and working daily to accomplish them.  I actually surprised myself as I became clear in WRITING about IKH:  what IKH actually is, what the benefits of the healings are, and who my ideal clients are. 

Then I learned to SPEAK clearly about this work without my former hesitation.  It would be difficult to describe my personal growth during this profound process, which forced me to find the answers to the questions about IKH inside myself.  I moved into embodied realizations that I hadn’t known were there.

I now have written this website which I could not possibly have accomplished before my processing with the coaching group.

I am also writing a class on IKH that I will teach at the Lifetime Learning Institute this fall.  But, I was disappointed that new clients came did not come into my practice during the coaching time, which was the external goal of the work.

Second, I have been learning to play 500 Rummy with my husband Walt who plays every hand to win.  Although he is a good teacher and I am a good student, I win only occasionally.  And I WANT to win.  But, even with wonderful hands I still lose points.  The other night after losing badly again, I felt like a train wreck.  This feeling has become familiar. 

[The train wreck experience has elements in it of “Life never gives me what I need”, and “I have plenty of potential that is never realized.”]

This is where Jesus came in.  A classmate from my coaching team offered to do an automatic writing for me.  [Automatic writing here means that she directed a question to Jesus and the answer was channeled through her writing.]  She asked Jesus to speak about my efforts to build a healing practice.  The answer is just phenomenal.  It has taken me 3 or 4 weeks to process the answer, which is loaded with bulls-eye hits.  I have cried and stomped at the words and have gradually found the gems that were hidden by my fears.  The insight that I will share here is this: ‘Merrily can set an intention to allow new clients to approach her, to offer her healing abilities and wisdom to be used in the world’.  As I read this many times, I realized that it was profound, but it wasn’t until the card game that it hit me.

I was losing badly to Walt and his daughter and feeling like the train wreck again.  Out of nowhere came this clear idea:  I could ALLOW the winning cards to come to me - the way I could ALLOW clients to approach me.

If you had been there, you would have felt the energy shift at the kitchen table.  Walt’s daughter felt it right away.  It was like an angry barrier moved away and let the cards just come to me.  And they came!  We were all surprised.  I won the remaining hands in that game easily.  I lost the game because I was too far behind to catch up when the energy shifted.  But, although Walt’s daughter won, I had well over 500 points.  And I was not a train wreck.  My card playing in subsequent games is still different as I allow the winning cards to come to me.

I read my automatic writing again.  I was astounded at how my intellectual understanding of the words lacked the impact of the embodied experience.  I will let you know how this shift continues to unfold holographically in allowing the things I need in life to come to me and in allowing my potential to be realized. 

What I offer to others is what I allow myself in my own healing process, the possibility of energetic shifts in lifelong psychological patterns, which can allow all of us to become who we were meant to be.