Personal development (PD) work provides the solid ground necessary for living in the present with what is real.    

Living in the present with what is real means that we no longer run way from our actual experiences.   This is not easy, as we are well-versed in our familiar and automatic means of escape – such as TV, food, alcohol, phones, acting out, shutting down.  

The ability to live in the present with reality is acquired only through intention and practice – the same kind of practice necessary to learn almost anything else – Tai Chi, soccer, playing the piano, calculus.

Real experiences include emotions that we like and emotions that we don’t like, such as joy, enthusiasm, anger, hatred, jealousy, and thoughts that we don’t like, including prejudice, judgment, and meanness. 

Being real means allowing our experience to be what it actually is, not trying to change it or make it go away, not acting it out.  When we dislike our experience, we are honest with that.  To live this way is a big, big relief.  It requires so much less energy than trying to fix things or shove them aside.  But, it takes practice to be able to do it – to even know when we are being real or not being real.

It is important to practice PD with a person trained and experienced in teaching the nuances of being real.  We are unaware of our own blind-spots and many of our escape routes.  To stay present with our real emotions and thoughts, it is necessary to have a teacher present with us as we learn.  PD work can be done in person or from a distance with the telephone.  Many people that I work with are several states away from me. 

The following books have been helpful to me.

·         The Unfolding Now by A.H. Almaas

·         Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Suzuki

·         Start Where You Are by Pema Choedron